Making people like your friends, and relations to laugh is one of the most fun gift you can give to any one during Xmas period, we have made it easy for you to make people happy this Christmas with our funny christmas wishes.


funny christmas wishes


funny christmas text message forwards

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”
– Don Marquis

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.”
– Bridger Winegar

“Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.” funny christmas wishes


“Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.”– Author Unknown

inspirational christmas messages

“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”– Steven Wright
“Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.”– Sean Hughes

funny christmas wishes

“Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.”– Wendy Cope funny christmas wishes
“Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.”– Alan Bradley

christmas wishes for friends

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”– Author Unknown
“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”– Roy L. Smith

funny christmas wishes

“Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.”– Richard Lamm

christmas and new year greetings

“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.”– Tom Sims
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”– Joan Rivers

funny christmas wishes


“People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces properly if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.”
– Ogden Nash

short funny christmas sayings and quotes

“A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.”
– John B. Priestly


“I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.”
– Fred Rogers

“This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.”
– Guy Endore Kaiser

merry christmas wishes text

“The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.””
– John Leo funny christmas wishes


“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
– Kin Hubbard funny christmas wishes

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”– Henny Youngman

funny Christmas wishes 2018

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”– Jerry Seinfeld
“Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.”– Lenore Hershey

funny christmas wishes

“Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?”– Tom Armstrong
“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.”– Catherine Tate
“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”– Arlo Guthrie